Can Women truly “Have it All”?
Working mothers can often feel torn between their careers and their kids, constantly feeling like they’re not giving enough to either, and ending up burnt out and unhappy.
The problem is that women still do most of the housework, are still considered the primary caregivers, and often don’t see much sympathy and understanding from their bosses when they have a sick child and end up stuck at home.
In fact a piece recently written by Katharine Zaleski recounted how while she was employed at The Huffington Post and The Washington Post she often rolled her eyes at the work ethic of mothers, and failed to support the decisions they were making when it came to work and family.
She admits that she had no idea how horrible she had been until five years later when she gave birth to her own daughter, and says that mother’s work-related achievements are often evaluated on a different scale than other employees. Surprisingly, it’s not just male bosses who are making life hard for working mothers-it’s often women as well.
Zaleski says that she found it hard to be an employee and new mum, and was determined to find a good solution. She ended up starting a company called PowertoFly, matching women with positions that they can do from home.
Katrina Alcorn wrote a book called “Maxed Out: Working Moms on the Brink”, and says that this is now a common phenomenon, after she had a great job, husband, and three kids, and ended up having a breakdown as she “lost her ability to manage the stress of competing demands”. As she recovered she spoke to other mums who were also feeling the same way, making themselves sick with stress, and blaming themselves.
Many believe that the idea that women can be a dedicated mother, loving wife, and productive employee- therefore “having it all” is misguided and unfair.
But women can have it all. As long as they have help. Hiring a housekeeper, nanny, maternity nurse, gardener, butler, cook, or cleaning help can be the difference between being a fun, relaxed mother, or one who is constantly stressed out, always tired, and often feels overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done.
When it comes to hiring help, women are often made to feel guilty by other women, but the fact is, coming home from work and not having to cook, fold laundry, or do other housework means that you’ll have more quality time to spend with the kids, and you’ll be able to focus on both your family and career.
Many people are also under the misguided impression that by hiring a nanny a woman is risking the bond that she has with her children. But if it comes down to after school care or being picked up by a trusted nanny who is a part of the family, the choice seems simple. A nanny can mean that you simply have a third pair of hands, someone to look after the kids when they’re sick, and someone to ensure homework gets done before you arrive home.
If you’ve been considering contacting a domestic staff agency, now is the time to change your life and “have it all”.