hutomo-abrianto-p5CFpOiYweU-unsplash

Five Ways for Coping When Your Partner is Unfaithful

When you find out that your partner has been unfaithful, it can hit you like a ton of bricks. Your marriage can be in a state of crisis and may end up in divorce.

It is natural if you want to know the reason why your partner cheated. However, there is rarely a simple answer as to why someone becomes unfaithful.

It can be due to several factors. There might be other problems in your marriage, or it can be something in your partner’s past.

No matter the reason behind this infidelity, you’ll have a lot of complicated feelings to sort through. You also need to think a lot about how to move forward.

Coping Up When Your Partner Becomes Unfaithful

Here are some ways to help you in coping when your partner has had an affair.

  1.       Accept your feelings.

You may feel shocked, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion. These feelings are normal. You will likely feel that your emotions are on a roller coaster ride.

It takes time to move on with the pain of having an unfaithful partner. Don’t expect the combination of feelings and mistrust to go away, even if you’re trying to forgive your partner and repair your marriage. Your marriage has changed, and it’s only natural to grieve in the relationship you once had. 

  1.       Don’t seek revenge.

When you are betrayed, it can induce rage. When you are furious, your first instinct may be to punish your partner by thinking about having an affair yourself to get even.

While you may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these actions, in the end, it can keep you in a state of anger.

You also need to think before telling your family. They might have their opinions about what you should do. While thinking about how you’re going to proceed, it’s best to keep the details private. 

  1.       Take care of yourself.

You may experience some physical reactions due to stress like nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems, or loss of appetite. Once the initial shock has passed, you need to try your best to eat healthy foods, stay on a schedule, get some exercise daily, drink plenty of water, and have some fun. 

  1.       Keep your children out of the problem.

Remind yourself that the situation is between you and your partner. It should not, in any way, involve your children. Even if you decide to end your marriage, sharing details about your partner’s affair will only put your children in an untenable position. It will cause them anxiety, make them feel stuck in the middle, and be forced to choose between them. 

  1.       Seek Counseling

You don’t have to cope with unfaithfulness alone. Before making any decisions about whether or not to end your marriage, it’s best to talk to a couple’s therapist, who will be neutral and help you gain insight into what really happened. You can ask your partner questions and share your feelings without losing your composure.