Saying Goodbye: How To Get Your Family Through A Loss

Losing a loved one is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. Whether the end was in sight for a long time or happened suddenly, knowing you’ll never talk to someone again is a terrible experience. Although there’s certain to be a lot of grieving, there are certain things you can do to ease the pain for you and your whole family. Getting over the loss and moving on with your life isn’t something that will happen overnight. However, many people make the process of grieving much harder than it has to be. No words can suddenly make things right, but I hope this guide helps somewhat.


When you have a loss in the family, your first instinct might be to regress from everyone. Grief completely saps our energy, and gets us stuck in vicious cycles of thought. In this kind of state, you might not feel like talking to anyone. However, communication is one of the most important parts of getting your family back on their feet. Even if you’re the only one who wants to talk, try your best to stir up some dialogue about your lost loved one. It doesn’t have to be some kind of deep, emotional conversation where you all resolve to be more positive. Often, it can be as simple as mentioning their name in passing, or talking about some kind of pleasant memory you have of the deceased. Talking about how much you miss the person can really help, too. For some reason, a lot of people are still ashamed to show grief and emotional pain. This can lead to them bottling up their emotions, and a much longer grieving process. I know that it may be hard at first, but encouraging dialogue about the person is almost always a good thing.

Taking your family on an outing could be a good way to mitigate the whole clan’s grief. It could be somewhere that had special significance to the person you’ve lost, but it doesn’t have to be. Try to think of some outings which the whole family will enjoy, or associate with some kind of pleasant memory. Go down to the lake where you had a holiday with your whole family, or have a picnic at a park you all know. Like a lot of modern families, you may not see each other as much as you should. In this situation, something as basic as sitting down for a meal together can provide some kind of comfort. It may sound cold, but giving yourselves something other to think about can soften the effects of the loss. Aside from that, sunlight and exercise are both great for staving off depression. No one’s saying you should try to forget the loved one straight away. However, I’m sure your loved one would hate to see you all staring into space!


When you’ve lost a family member, it’s important not to get stuck in the attitude that things will never be the same. After such a large and shocking change to your home life, it can be natural to think that the whole family has been irreparably warped. Some people think that without a certain person around, the house will have changed for the worse, and it will always be that way. If you feel that kind of attitude creeping up, work on dispelling it in any way you can. The truth is, your home is constantly changing. Sometimes it will be a pleasant change, and other times it will be damaging. Death is just another unpleasant change, and one that none of us can do anything about. In the aftermath, it’s a bad idea to cling to the past, and let yourself become more and more upset about what you think was a better time. Sure, you and your family should be honouring the memory of your loved one. However, I’m sure if they could see you, they wouldn’t want you to obsess over the loss, no matter how great. Maintain your old family traditions, like annual trips to a beauty spot, Christmases and birthdays. However, it will help to look for new traditions and activities for the whole family. Remember that when you’re sitting around grieving, the earth is spinning regardless. There’s nothing wrong with holding onto the past, provided you leave some space for the future.

Creating some kind of memorial for the deceased could be another good way of helping your family through the woods. I’m not talking about formal funeral arrangements here. In my opinion, tombstones are one of the least personal ways you can remember a loved one. Think of something else which you can keep near your family, wherever you are. You might want to plant a tree in the garden, create a piece of art, or form a scrapbook with precious photographs. Some families will get a notebook where everyone writes a story about your loved one that means something special to them. You can read about a few examples at .

Finally, work on your relations with your living extended family. Not every family is picturesque, and we may have relationships which we’re not entirely proud of. If someone in the family dies when there’s still a feud, that hostility can quickly turn to guilt. Even now, you may be arguing over inheritance and looking into probate lawyers like . Obviously, I don’t know anything about your family, or the relations you have with them. However, I do know that it pays to work on sour relationships. For some people, grief is all about the regret of being a bad partner, son, sister. Throwing yourself into the embrace of your extended family is often one of the best ways to get past a loss. Try to see everyone between now and the funeral, and don’t hold back on expressing your feelings. It’s not exactly a pleasant thought, but no one’s going to be on this earth forever. When you pass on, I’m sure you don’t want to end it on a trivial argument.